January Blog A Day: #28 A SURPRISE!

Surprises don't come along often enough, I think.  Surprises are awesome when you're able to pull them off.

When I saw this topic for day 28, I knew just what I was going to write about.  I had a great surprise last year when James planned an overnight trip to Southern California for our 12th wedding anniversary in September.  He'd gotten us tickets to see and hear John Williams conduct the L.A. Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl.  He had planned the whole trip, arranged for his parents to stay with our children, booked the plane tickets and hotel and kept it all on the downlow so that he could surprise me with a really memorable present and a much-needed getaway for us!

Before the concert and right after we left the airport, we headed for one of our favorite and very much missed restaurants in L.A. County, Aloha Food Factory in Alhambra.  We met up with our friends Heather and Jon and had such a great visit!

I had the kalua pig plate, which also has white rice, teriyaki grilled vegetables and awesome macaroni-potato salad.

James had an island plate, too, but with orange chicken instead of kalua pig.  After our island plates, we split a 2-pancake order of Macadamia Nut Pancakes with a creamy vanilla-pudding-like syrup.  SO GOOD.  I was disappointed that I didn't have any room for some shave ice, because theirs is like biting into super-soft snow instead of crunchy bits of ice like a snow cone.  But I was extremely satisfied.

After lunch, we went to our hotel by way of a cupcake shop called Dots.  Believe it or not, I'd never been to a cupcake shop before.  I've always just made my own.

We took the cupcakes to the concert, along with food we picked up at Trader Joe's for our Hollywood Bowl picnic.  I liked their cupcakes but ultimately felt that I could do better!  After Dots, we went to the Embassy Suites in Glendale.

Really cool huge water feature in the lobby, and there were koi and little turtles in the pond at the bottom.  I like Embassy Suites because you get a suite (obviously), plus they have great complimentary breakfasts with cooked-to-order omelets, bacon, potatoes, fruit, cereal, pastries and lots of other yummy yummy stuff.

After we got our things put away and got ready for the concert, we stopped at Trader Joe's and then went to the L.A. Zoo parking lot for our shuttle ride to the Bowl.  That was the best way we found to travel there when we used to live in L.A.  It was only about $3 per person (or maybe $5?) for the round-trip ride, you don't have to hassle with driving in traffic or the nastily crowded Bowl parking lots that are so hard to exit afterward.  Also, the buses go the back way and there are security and police officers that hold up traffic when a bus is coming through, so you get in and out pretty fast.

We found our seats and got settled in with our picnic food.  Here we are, waiting for the concert to start:

We had such a great time!  We'd been to the John Williams concert twice while we were living in L.A. and really enjoyed it.  He's so incredibly talented, and he puts on a long concert with several encores.  He does a mix of well-known tunes and more obscure pieces from popular movies.  I had no idea that he composed the music for Fiddler on the Roof, but we got to hear a song from that film among many others.

There were also several songs from the Star Wars films.  Whenever one of those songs started, or the love theme from Superman, out came a bunch of light sabers that moved with the beat of the music.  I sure wished I had one!  Next time.

We didn't have enough time to visit our old Sunday School class and still make it to the airport in time, so instead we enjoyed a delicious breakfast, then drove around Glendale for a little while, going past the apartment where used to live and some of the houses we admired.  We also admired the palm trees, which I really miss!

We flew back home and happily reunited with our children.  It was such a quick trip, but really refreshing.  It was so nice to have a chance to just spend that time together, being able to talk and not talk (Best in Show, anyone?) and enjoy some quietness and relate to one another as just a couple and having a break from Mom & Dad duties!  And it was wonderful to see Heather and Jon again and have the opportunity to catch up with them.  We packed a lot into what amounted to 22 hours in L.A.  Would love to do it again sometime for a little longer!

January Blog A Day: #27 Regret

I don't have a lot of regrets that have stayed with me.  It's not that I haven't done stupid or foolish things in my life.  I most certainly have.  I try to let go of them and move forward, though.  Sometimes that's easier said than done.

The one regret that is a longstanding one is the wish that I had been less concerned about what others thought of me when I was in high school and college.  I suspect I would have had so much more fun if I wasn't so insecure and self-conscious.  I had enjoyable times then, especially during college, but was often hindered in trying new things and getting to know people because of the fears and anxieties that held me back.

I still am self-conscious sometimes and have a hard time approaching someone to introduce myself and try to get to know them.  I think part of that is the introvert in me.  It's probably never going to be an easy thing for me to walk up to a stranger or the barest of acquaintances and say hello and strike up a conversation with them.

Perhaps I should start carrying around one of those sets of conversation-starter cards.

January Blog A Day: #26 Winter/Summer

There are things I like about every season. There are I dislike about most seasons, too. It's hard to think of things to dislike about spring. But we're not here to discuss spring, anyway. Our current topic is winter/summer. Winter brings colder temperatures that are sometimes unpleasantly cold. Our furnace is 34 years old and struggles hard to keep up with the cold when temps go below 40, but it just can't. Correspondingly, our electric bill goes through the roof. If we have a big wind storm, ice storm or snow storm, we are almost guaranteed to lose power for a few days because so many power lines are near trees that fall over or lose big branches that take out linesor transformers. The gray days make me feel tired and lack energy, which makes it hard to get things done.  It also makes it feel dark inside the house and I end up having lots of lights on, even during the day.  Plus my hands can't retain enough moisturizer and I have to resort to increasingly heavy-duty moisturizers.

But winter brings a break from yard work. It sometimes leaves beautiful snow-coated landscapes. It's a season of fireplaces and sweaters and snuggling in blankets, either by yourself or with loved ones. I don't usually mind the rain, and it waters our lawn and plants enough that we don't have to worry about them for a number of months.  It sometimes features the Olympics, the only time I ever get really excited about watching a bunch of different sports. Winter is a time of hot casseroles and soups and rolls with butter. And it brings Christmas, which is my favorite holiday. I love shopping for gifts that I think people will really enjoy. I love making (and eating) Christmas goodies, and going to the annual ladies' Cookie & Candy Exchange. I love putting up the Christmas tree and looking at all the special ornaments and what significance each has. I love hearing Christmas music and seeing the lights all over. And I love celebrating the birth of Christ, and the candlelight Christmas Eve church service.  And relaxing afterward with my little family as we eat finger foods and watch a movie together.  And gathering with family to celebrate on Christmas Day.

Summer. Summer is a time that lacks structure and where I don't have much quiet time or time to be really productive. When it's a hot summer, I get cranky because, like most houses in this area, we don't have a/c. (Hopefully that's something we'll rectify when we replace our ancient furnace.) Lawn care kicks into high gear, including lots and lots of weeding, plus pruning and watering frequently and figuring out what plants need to be replaced.  Boredom can set in for Rachel, and all that time without an outlet for her energy like school can lead to behavior problems.  It's also tough to find enough to do with Ben when so little still interests him.

But summer gives us a more relaxed lifestyle with fewer obligations and early mornings when everyone has to get ready and rush out the door.  Summer gives us many days of beautiful blue skies and sunshine.  We have gorgeous flowers bloom in our front yard - the hydrangeas always wait until about mid-July, right in the thick of summer, and then they burst into glorious huge blooms of blues and purples and lavenders.  We take vacation time as a family and explore fun things to do in the local area, and get to spend those days just enjoying each others' company.  We take a break from many of the regular obligations and activities that stop during summertime and get to slow down and have a breather.  Plus, summer Olympics!

No matter the season, I usually find myself looking forward to its beginning with anticipation, thinking of all the things that I enjoy about that time of year.  Sometimes it feels like I'm rushing things along, but I think it's more that I want to enter into that time with a spirit of appreciation and thankfulness.

January Blog A Day: #25 el. oh. vee. ee.

L is for the way you look at me

O is for the only one I see

V is very, very extraordinary

E is even more than anyone that you adore

And love is all that I can give to you

Love is more than just a game for two

Two in love can make it

Take my heart and please don't break it

Love was made for me and you

Love was made for me and you

Yes, love was made for me and you

January Blog A Day: #24 Teachers

I have tremendous admiration for the teachers I've known, both in my own years as a student and in seeing my children's teachers now.  I admire the friends I have who are teachers, too.

Teaching is a tough job.  It's choosing to be responsible for the learning of a bunch of kids who (usually) aren't even your own.  Sometimes (often) they act like right pains in the rear end.  Teachers share in shaping their students' behavior and teaching them how to be kind and responsible human beings.  They serve as mediators in disputes and provide positive reinforcement to encourage children to keep doing well.  They are not only underpaid, but they are often underfunded, and they spend their own money on classroom supplies and decor to make the classroom environment more fun, visually pleasant and stimulating for young minds.

I wonder at times why anyone would choose to be a teacher.  But I had an experience last year while helping out during the math period that gave me a glimpse as to why someone would choose that path.  I was working with a 2nd-grade boy who was struggling to get through the 1st-grade math book that was his.  I'd worked with him before and could tell how tough math was for him.  We went through a sample problem together, then it just clicked for him that day, and he quickly went through the rest of the problems and completed them correctly.

I was so proud of him!  It felt really good to see the switch get flipped and the learning process happening for him, and I know that he felt proud of himself, too.  I think the best rewards of the job must be in those moments who you can actually see learning and growth happening and a child feeling good about him- or herself, because they did it, they accomplished something.  And I think the reward is especially great when you know that the child struggles.

My hat goes off to teachers (or it would if I was wearing one).  You do such an important job and you probably don't get told nearly enough how much you are appreciated and valued.

January Blog A Day: #23 Dessert

If you know me at all, you know that I love desserts.  And I love sweet desserts.  There is such a thing as "too sweet," if something is really on the sweet side without a balancing richness of dark chocolate or saltiness or something else to cut through pure sugar.  But I'll never be one to go for a savory "dessert."  I don't think dessert is meant to be a savory course.

Moreover, I love to make desserts.  I love eating the raw product (particularly cookie dough and brownie batter), I love eating the finished product, I love making desserts to give to or share with other people...it brings me joy.  I have a dream of one day starting my own baking shop/confectionery, or a home business where I can make goodies and help support my family at the same time.  I started out thinking about a cupcake business, but I love to make cakes, too, and cookies, and candies are something that I started to become more interested in recently.

For our Christmas Day meal with family, I made 3 different treats, and 2 of those were candies:

From top to bottom, they are White Chocolate Cranberry Bars, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Truffles (YUM), and Pecan Pralines.  I made goodie tins for Rachel's teacher and Ben's teachers and therapists before Christmas break.  They also included the Cookie Dough Truffles and Pecan Pralines, along with Maple Rice Krispy Treats and Fudge.

Here are some more past goodies:

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes

An Elmo cake for my son's 3rd birthday - chocolate on chocolate for my little chocolate lover!

Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, done for my husband's grandmother's birthday

A baby shower cake done for my friend Rachel - also carrot cake with cream cheese frosting

For the cake walk at my daughter's school: triple chocolate pudding cake

with fudge frosting and crushed Oreos

For Thanksgiving: a Pumpkin Spice Cake with Chocolate Pecan Frosting

Hopefully one day I will find a way to turn this from a hobby I indulge in when I can to a career that I will really enjoy!

January Blog a Day: #22 Kids

I'm behind by a few posts on JanuaryBlogaDay, but planning to get caught up.  Sue me.

Kids.  Such a loaded topic in some way.  First, you should probably know (if you don't already) that I have two children.

Rachel is my 8-year-old daughter.  She is funny, very smart, empathetic, sensitive and loving.  She also has ADHD, OCD and some oppositional defiance, which means she can turn angry on a dime, lash out in physical aggression, wake up at night and stay awake for the rest of the night (I'm talking waking up at 11pm, or midnight, or 1am, and just not going back to sleep until the following evening) and fixate on something to an obsessive degree.  We had reached a point with her a few years ago where we were desperate and didn't know what to do.  She was so angry, and getting more and more aggressive physically, kicking, scratching, hitting, trying to bite us and in other ways acting out.  There was no reason that we could see for her to be acting that way, and we tried everything we could think of.  We were at our wits' end.

Then we ended up finding out about son's developmental delays and what that could mean, and I decided I was done slogging through on our own and trying to figure out how to "fix" Rachel and parent her appropriately.  We got connected with a neurobehavioral pediatrician who is a very wise man.  Through months of visits with him, talking about things and figuring out what was driving some of Rachel's behavior, modifying our own parenting behaviors (no more temper tantrums for us and finding a parenting method that would allow us to be more emotionally neutral, thus decelerating things instead of accelerating them) and, finally, a careful and cautious use of medication to help those parts of her brain chemistry that were not functioning as they should - not to mention lots and lots of prayer - we were able to get to a place that was infinitely better than where we had been.  Our neurobehavioral ped is a miracle worker.  He's really helped us to bring out the best in all of us and has been like a family therapist.  He'll work with us through the years as Rachel grows into adolescence, and that is a huge comfort and blessing.

She has come such a long way in the past 2 years and is so often a joy.  She still struggles sometimes, particularly when she is sleep-deprived and therefore quicker to have an outburst.  But she is doing well in school and is often helpful at home.  She adores her little brother and is such a great big sister to him!

Ben is my 4-year-old son.  He was a fussy baby at times and we now believe that he suffered from acid reflux that made it difficult for him to sleep unless he was partly upright.  In between the fussing, he had a smile that could just light up the room.  It was hard to find toys that interested him.  He had a habit as a toddler of spinning in circles for several minutes, then just walking off like it was no big thing.  When frustrated or angry, he would shake his head back and forth hard, or pull himself forward and then slam back against his highchair or car seat or where he happened to be.  We had some concerns about some of his repetitive behaviors, the fact that he didn't play functionally with his toys and his lack of verbal progress, but check-ins with his pediatrician led us to believe that he was progressing normally.

As he passed 2, we still weren't seeing much verbal progress, and we decided to listen to our gut feelings and get him evaluated.  At just over 2 1/2, we took him back to the pediatrician, who thought there was some verbal delay, and recommended we take him to Birth to Three Developmental Center for an evaluation.  It turned out that he had a global developmental delay in every area except gross motor skills.  Further evaluation by a developmental pediatrician led to a diagnosis of PDD-NOS, an autism spectrum disorder.  This was recently changed to a diagnosis of Autism by his neurologist, an evaluation that was done after a hospital stay in November for epileptic seizures.  That was the first (and so far, thank God, only) time he's ever had seizures, and it was terrifying - loss of consciousness, rigidity, vomiting, no responsiveness to us whatsoever.

Ben is in developmental preschool 4 days a week, including an afternoon session for children with autism that works on behavioral therapies.  His progress there has been slower than they and we would like, but I'm thankful that he's had the opportunity to go to the school and work with therapists and teachers and paraeducators who are so invested in helping him to learn.  He is pretty limited in his vocabulary, although he's made some progress in how much he understands and responds, and in following requests from us (when he feels like it).

We really don't know what Ben's future will look like.  He may start to pick up more words, then sentences, and be able to communicate with us verbally on a more typical level.  He may remain really delayed in that and/or other areas.  His school speech therapist said yesterday that she thinks picture cards will be key for him as a skill for the rest of his life, eventually moving on to using an iPad or similar type of device with a speech program.  I don't know if that will be the case or not.  Only time will tell.

When we decided to start a family, I never dreamed that parenting would be so full of challenges.  It's been hard, y'all.  I'm glad that I didn't know ahead of time how hard it would be, because I'm not sure I would have had the guts to go for it.

But I've learned that I'm much stronger than I thought.  I've grown a thicker skin and learned to be less concerned about what others think.  I've grown in patience and developed a better ability to (usually) control my temper and my own propensity toward angry outbursts.  I've learned how deep a mother's love for her children goes.  I've learned to celebrate the small things, and to be optimistic.  I've learned to take each day as its own and not try to figure out the next 5 or 10 or 20 years.  And I'm still learning:  to trust my own instincts more, to go after what my children need no matter what others tell me, to handle a lot more than I ever thought I could.

Do I regret having children?  Absolutely not.  Do I sometimes miss the days of freedom and being able to go out to dinner at 9 o'clock on a Friday without having to pay a babysitter or worry about how early I'll need to wake up the next day?  Sure.  That's normal.  I think we often miss what we no longer have.  That's why we should appreciate the great things about each stage in our lives while we're in that stage.  I remind myself on the hard days about the positives and try to cherish the special moments and burn them into my memory.  My memory sucks, so it will only help so much, but at least I'm making the effort ;)

So to sum it up, kids will change your life and transform you as a person.  And they're totally worth it.