My Latest Pursuits in Baking

I've been keeping busy with baking projects lately.  Ben's birthday was on May 12.  He's a fan of Elmo and of chocolate (especially M&Ms), so I made this for him:

Triple chocolate cake with homemade chocolate fudgy frosting and M&M trim.  He liked the look of it and the M&Ms, but he's just not a cake eater (yet).  I think he knew it was just for him and enjoyed that, though.

Next up was a school carnival at Rachel's elementary school on June 3.  They were having a cake walk, so I made this for my contribution:

This was the same recipe for Triple Chocolate Cake and the fudgy frosting, but with Oreos for garnish.  I think this would be great with a filling of an Oreo-cream-like nature.  Either way, it was one of the earlier items picked up from the cake walk table - we arrived at the carnival about 25 minutes after it started and saw someone walking around with it, so that made me happy.

Rachel's birthday was on June 12, and we did a movie theme for the party.  She wanted these cupcakes for dessert:

She requested vanilla cupcakes and vanilla frosting, and that's what she got.

My friend Angie's baby shower was on June 14, and I baked some carrot cake cupcakes with homemade cream cheese frosting.  These didn't photograph as pink as they were in reality:

I'd like to find a way for my carrot cake to rise just a bit more during the baking process.  This is a dense recipe and tends to bake fairly flat, which works great for cake layers or a sheet cake, but it's nice to have a bit of a dome on cupcakes, I think.  The taste is really good, though, so I'm reluctant to mess with it.

These cupcakes did not all turn out the same size.  I used 2 different pans and noticed that my results with one were much more uneven than with the other.  I'm thinking I need to get some good muffin pans so that I can be more assured of consistent results with cupcakes in the future.  I haven't noticed as much of a disparity with other cupcake recipes, but I definitely noticed it with the carrot cake.

And finally, I baked up some goodies for the kids' teachers and for the school office at Rachel's school.  This is banana bread, chocolate chip cookies, butterscotch blondies and gooey butter cookies:

I had a really good time baking up the things for the goodie tray.  I discovered that I put pressure on myself when I'm making a cake or cupcakes, but cookies and bread are easier because they're a little more foolproof, I think, as long as you don't overbake them.  I'd like to take the fun I had in making the goodie trays and learn how to be more that way when I'm making cakes and cupcakes.  Perhaps that just means I need to make those more often so I get over being stressed about them turning out well!

Master Chef

I've really gotten into cooking competition shows in the last couple of years.  I like seeing the creativity of the chefs and how they work under pressure, and how their final product rates when it comes time for judging.  Plus I like shows where people compete based upon their skills or abilities.

I didn't watch season one of Master Chef, probably because I find Gordon Ramsay's persona to be offputting whenever I see a commercial for Hell's Kitchen.  I decided to give this show a try when season two started last month, and I've been enjoying it.  It's amazing what these former home cooks can do when presented with unusual ingredients or certain restrictions to follow.  Sometimes their dishes are spectacular wipeouts, but frequently they come up with something really great.

Ramsay himself is much softer here than in the promos for Hell's Kitchen.  Yes, he still curses like a sailor when presented with a very bad dish, but it's pretty much out of disappointment in what the contestant failed to show and hasn't seemed directed toward any of the cooks as people.  He also showed a soft side with some of the contestants during the audition rounds, which surprised me.

Out of the contestants competing, there are 2 in particular that I find offputting:

• Max is an 18-year-old student who I'm guessing is a trust fund kid.  He's from a wealthy upbringing and has traveled the world extensively, dining in fine restaurants as he went.  He then would work on copying the dishes at home.  He's talented, but he has such a condescending attitude toward the other cooks.  He's very disrespectful, insulting his fellow chefs regularly, and when the other chefs' dishes are being critiqued, he has a look of absolute glee on his face, while everyone else is feeling empathy for the chef whose dish has turned out so badly.  I really really don't like him.**
• Suzy is a 27-year-old neural engineer.  She has come up with some creative dishes and has done multiple dishes for several challenges where only one finished dish was required.  Definitely an overachiever, and when judge Graham Elliot said that she reminded him of the girl in school who would always pipe up to say "Teacher, you forgot to give us homework!", she stated that she was indeed that girl.  Suzy tends to think she can do no wrong and that the judges instead made the wrong decision when her dish is in the top three but another chef's dish is chosen as the winner, regardless of critiques the judges have made, noting where her dish fell a little short.  And when the judges are complimenting her, she just stands there nodding her head with a big grin on her face that looks like she's responding with "I know.  Isn't it awesome?"  Some thank yous would go a long way for her.

Last night's episode had an elimination challenge where contestants had to make dessert.  The winner of the earlier Mystery Box challenge got to choose which ingredient he would use in the elimination challenge (he chose nuts), and which ingredient the other chefs would use (he chose coffee for them).  Max is extremely lucky that chef Alvin screwed up bigger than he did, because Max's dish was described as an ill-conceived concept with a rancid taste.  I'm bummed that Alvin made such a huge mistake with his dish, which was coffee-filled beignets with a coffee pudding.  His use of scientific methods unfortunately did not serve him well, and he went home.

**I wrote this blog post between Monday's episode and Tuesday's episode.  Max got eliminated in Tuesday's episode, and I was not sorry to see him go.  However, a new contender emerged for unlikable contestants: Christine, a 27-year-old single mom.  She has always had a tendency to swear like a sailor and she gets flustered and stressed out in many challenges, but in the aftermath of last night's elimination challenge, she got really out of hand with her behavior.  She went one-on-one against Max in cooking filets 3 ways: rare, medium and well done.  She had better seasoning, and her cooking of the meat was more spot-on in 2 of the 3 methods.

When the team leader singled out Max and Christine, Max was ticked off, but Christine just about came unhinged.  She was dancing around like a Bantam rooster, and started throwing out some punches.  She behaved in a really unprofessional way, and while the challenge was going on, she kept giving Esther, the team leader, the stink eye.  I'm guessing she won't be in the contest too much longer judging by how often she panics when they have challenges.

The nice thing is that I like most of the contestants.  My top three favorites are:

• Alejandra, a 37-year-old architect with tons of natural talent in the kitchen;
• Derrick, a 33-year-old web designer who likes to make his dishes in unorthodox ways sometimes, and it usually pays off;
• and Christian, a 31-year-old stay-at-home dad who straightened his life out after his son was born and who learned to cook so that he could feed his son good food.

I'm looking forward to seeing how this season turns out, and maybe digging up episodes of season 1 as well.

The Long Hot Summer

I don't know if this summer is going to be hot (although I certainly hope it won't get too hot), but it looks like it's going to be long.  It's only about 10 weeks from the end of school until the start of it again in September.  Still, I'm already inundated with requests to entertain Rachel and repeated bouts of whining when she doesn't get her way.

She was talking recently about how she wishes she was still in school, because she likes going to class and playing with her friends and because it keeps her busier.  She talked about how all she has to do is read books, play with her Pet Shop toys and watch TV, and how is she supposed to deal with that?  It doesn't sound like too rough a life to me, but I know how it is to have a job and have very little to do at that job, and it gets tedious quickly.

Yesterday we went to the library, and the act of getting ready for it took most of the morning.  We ended up leaving at 11:15.  But that was okay, because keeping our focus on the fact that we were going somewhere made the morning go faster, and then we killed some time that took us right up to lunch.  I had her work on some spelling word practice and write in her summer journal, and then she did her responsibilities so that she could watch a little TV.  I also painted her fingernails and toenails when she was ready to sit down and watch TV, and I think that helped to motivate her to get things done.

I'm trying to come up with stuff to keep her busy without me necessarily needing to be an active participant.  I don't mind playing some games and spending time with her throughout the day here and there, but the demands on me to constantly supply something for her to do are driving me a little crazy, and they make it difficult for me to get my own responsibilities done.  It's also tough to find any "quiet time" during the day, and I desperately need that to be a good mom.  Otherwise, my fuse is much shorter and my reactions are not as kind as they should be.

I think Ben benefits from the structure of preschool, too.  He adjusted to it well, and I have to admit that, even though it was tough for me to send him off so soon, it ended up being really nice having a few hours on Monday through Thursday when I could quickly run errands, get things done around the house or just enjoy the peace and quiet.

Neither child is doing well with sleeping patterns lately.  Rachel keeps sleeping in and then having trouble falling asleep many nights, but if I wake her up early, she'll be a royal grouch for the rest of the day.  I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and do that soon, though, if she keeps having trouble at night.  With summer here, though, we may just have her get ready for bed by the normal time, and then read for a longer period to help tire her out.  That way, James and I still get some quiet time in the evening, and she doesn't keep coming out of her room to tell us that she's having trouble sleeping, or turning her light on and being sneaky about reading when she's supposed to be in bed.

Ben has always had problems with staying awake at night long after he should be asleep.  I would try removing naps, but he gets so crabby and, worse, aggressive (sometimes just downright mean) when he doesn't have a nap.  Sometimes he keeps himself awake through naptime, and that can be rough, too, but he at least needs some downtime on his own in the afternoons.  And I need that, too.  He clearly isn't ready to give up his naps, so I may need to try to limit how long they are.  That's tough to do when he frequently takes so long to fall asleep.

I'm looking forward to the two weeks of VBS in July.  One is just Rachel going to VBS at the church where she attended preschool, and the next week is VBS at our church.  I'll be a crew leader (for Rachel), James is helping out in various areas, and Ben will be in the church nursery while we're there.  I know that it'll be a bit tiring; nonetheless, it will be good for Rachel to have something to do and will make those days go faster.  After that, we have two weeks to fill, then two weeks of morning swimming lessons that will help pass the time, then a week of vacation.  I think there's a week and a half left of summer post-vacation.

So that just leaves this week and next before VBS starts, and leaves me thinking about how I can make the time more pleasant and help Rachel to think more creatively about what she can do with her days.

Adventures in Cooking

I was watching an episode of Master Chef the other evening.  The contestants were making fresh ravioli, and I thought "Why haven't I ever done that?"  It seems like it might be a little challenging to get the dough to be the right consistency and to roll it out to the proper thickness, but nothing that some practice wouldn't fix.

I decided then and there that I would in the near future make some homemade ravioli from scratch.  And then I started to think about the other kinds of foods that I'd like to try making and haven't.  I think it would be a lot of fun to pick a few of them to make each month and start trying out new things.  Some are things I've eaten in restaurants but haven't done myself, some are cooking techniques I want to learn and some will be things that I've heard about but haven't yet eaten and that just plain sound good.

My list so far:

• Fresh ravioli
• Bubble and squeak
• Something Irish (possibly Colcannon)
• Something German - I was thinking Schnitzel and Spaetzle, but apparently Schnitzel is Austrian; I may just do that, anyway.  Another one that sounds good is Hochzeitssuppe, a German wedding soup.
• Brining a chicken - I've never brined poultry but have heard that it imparts great flavor and keeps it from drying out
• Improving my grilling skills and increasing my repertoire of what I grill beyond burgers, hot dogs, smoked sausages and chicken.  I've also never tried doing a dry rub, and want to do that.
• Baking cakes and cupcakes more often so that I can improve my decorating skills and perfect my recipes for cake and frosting.  Two cake recipes I found recently that I want to make: Butter Cake with Browned Butter Frosting, and Chocolate Pumpkin Layer Cake with Brown Sugar Frosting.  Yum!
• Cuban food - probably garlic chicken with rice and black beans.  I also have a copycat recipe for Zankou Chicken's garlic paste that I really want to try.  Zankou Chicken is a small chain of restaurants in the L.A. area.  They have awesome rotisserie chicken and serve it with Middle Eastern side dishes, and the garlic paste is a spread for pita bread, or you can do like I do and put it right on the chicken.
• Homemade tamales
• Bread - James got me a book called Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day, and I have to try a recipe from it.  Must remedy that one, and soon!

I'm sure I'll be adding to this list as I think about other things I want to try.  Plus I have recipes bookmarked in my AllRecipes Recipe Box that I have never tried, and ones that are in my recipe binder.

I need to get busy with planning meals so that I can schedule some of this stuff in and get started!

What's Up with the Kids, Anyway? - Pt. 2, Rachel**

Rachel

• While going through everything with Ben, we decided it was time to find out what might be going on with Rachel.  We had 3 appointments in April & May, one with just the parents and the neurobehavioral pediatrician, and 2 that included Rachel.
• We also had extensive evaluation paperwork to complete, and Rachel's homeroom and math teacher had evaluations to do that pertained to her behavior at school.
• Because she doesn't show attention problems at school, the doctor doesn't think at this time that she needs to be treated for ADD.  He said that it may be something that shows up at a later date, or it may be that her issues are not rooted in an attention disorder.
• She does have Oppositional Defiant Disorder and displays excessive defiance at both home and school.  There seems to be some OCD as well.
• The pediatrician recommended that we get a DVD called 1-2-3 Magic, as he has seen many children like Rachel and with even more extreme defiance find success when their parents used this method.  The biggest components of the method are for parents to remain calm (and stop having their own temper tantrums in the face of very frustrating and infuriating behavior in their children) and for them to apply it consistently.  Both of those are good things for us to remember.  We're still working on it, but we're making good progress with Rachel and are being encouraged.
• The other thing that has made a difference is that I stopped letting her have red dye 40.  I did some reading up on it and saw that it can cause children with ADD/ADHD to have aggravated symptoms, and even in those who do not have ADD/ADHD, some have a sensitivity to red dye 40 that can cause them to mirror those symptoms.  She still has mood swings and temper tantrums, and I'm sure she will always have a defiant streak, but the pendulum does not swing as far nor as often now as it was when I wasn't monitoring her intake of the dye.  It's amazing how much difference something like that can make, and that it even has the power to bring out that sort of behavior.

It can be so difficult sometimes when we're faced with her bullheadedness and, at times, downright nastiness.  But we know that she's a very bright girl who loves us, dotes on her brother and is so patient with him.  She has a silly, fun sense of humor and so much creativity and imagination.  She's empathetic toward others and does thoughtful things for other kids at school.  We know that her strong-willed streak will enable her to stand up to peer pressure when she's older, and march to the beat of her own drummer.  She is growing up to be a remarkable person.

She may be a lot of work, but she's worth it!

**Please note that I'm not looking for advice, just sharing and sometimes venting.

What's Up with the Kids, Anyway? - Pt. 1, Ben**

To keep things simple, here's a recap in bullet form:

Ben

• Was evaluated by our Birth to Three Center in February and found to be delayed in all areas - speech, fine motor skills, adaptive, social, cognitive, etc.
• Started playgroup therapy 2x a week along with weekly occupational therapy, speech therapy, and at-home therapy with his playgroup teacher.
• Made some good progress in that time, but aged out of the program when he turned 3 on May 12.
• During his time in the program, he saw a specialist who noted some autistic characteristics and behaviors, but didn't feel he should be diagnosed with full-blown autism at that point and asked to see Ben again in 6 months (late October or early November).
• The specialist diagnosed PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified).  It's a disorder in the autism spectrum.  What does that mean?  From the Autism Speaks website:  PDD-NOS may be thought of as “subthreshold autism," or a diagnosis one can give a person who has “atypical symptomatology.”  In other words, when someone has autistic characteristics but some of their symptoms are mild, or they have symptoms in one area (like social deficits), but none in another key area (like restricted, repetitive behaviors), they may be given the PDD-NOS label.
• Ben started in a developmental preschool program at a local preschool on May 16.  He made good progress in following their schedule and sitting for things like circle time without having to be asked.  We're hopeful that he'll continue to do well when the program starts up again in the fall.
• Progress with cognitive skills, language and other things has been slow, but we're celebrating all the little steps along the way.  Last week, for the first time, he answered my "I love you" with an "I lub you" in return.  Yesterday, I got to hear him do it again, and it was wonderful!

There are good days and bad days.  He's a very sweet boy, but sometimes he lashes out in anger and tries to hurt us.  He feels everything very deeply, which is unfortunate when he's grabbing our hair, biting or scratching us; but it's awesome when he's giving us a long, tight hug and saying our names with such love!

This isn't how we would have chosen for things to be, but we're learning to live with the new normal and to be thankful for lots of things that we might have otherwise taken for granted.  The hardest part for me is not knowing how he will progress and what his future will look like.  For that, I just have to continually make the decision to trust God, knowing that He will enable us and empower us for whatever lies ahead.  Easier said than done, but I'm learning.

**Please note that I'm not looking for advice, just sharing and sometimes venting.

Time to Get Back on the Horse

Life threw me for a loop for a couple of months.  Okay, it was five months.

The last time I wrote about our kids, we were still a bit in the dark in terms of what was going on with each.  I've written updates about them on Facebook, but writing blog posts seemed overwhelming, like too much work when I was just struggling to try to keep up with the day-to-day stuff.  I'd been making really great headway at the beginning of the year in getting through the decluttering of areas that had been neglected for far too long, and I was starting to work on things that I'd been wanting to do for a while.  But once we entered the world of evaluations and therapy, it knocked the wind out of me.  Plus this might have been the grayest winter we've had since moving here in March 2006, and it seemed to last FOREVER.

I felt like I just could not get back into the swing of things, much less gain forward momentum again, for months.  I was sapped of energy and motivation.  I'd look around at things that needed doing and feel helpless to do them.  Even had a few days where I felt real despair.

I actually went to my doctor for a checkup, not knowing if what I was experiencing was just a natural reaction to stressful life circumstances or if I might actually be going through depression or an anxiety disorder.  She ran some blood tests, and it turns out that my vitamin D level was pretty low.  Symptoms of low vitamin D can include depression and chronic fatigue.  She put me on a 50,000 unit weekly vitamin D prescription for 6 months, and after that I'm supposed to take a daily dosage.

I've started to feel much better this week.  I think that the vitamin D is kicking in, and that combined with the sunshine we've had for most of the week has helped me to find some motivation and be productive.

It has felt really good to get a lot done and use my time well.  I'm looking forward to clearing away the clutter that was already in existence and that which has gathered in the last few months.  It's going to be great to have the house get more and more cleared out, but we're going to have to be vigilant about ways to keep the clutter from building back up.

I was going to write about the kids, too, but I think I'll have to save that for another post.