What's Up with the Kids, Anyway? - Pt. 2, Rachel**

Rachel

• While going through everything with Ben, we decided it was time to find out what might be going on with Rachel.  We had 3 appointments in April & May, one with just the parents and the neurobehavioral pediatrician, and 2 that included Rachel.
• We also had extensive evaluation paperwork to complete, and Rachel's homeroom and math teacher had evaluations to do that pertained to her behavior at school.
• Because she doesn't show attention problems at school, the doctor doesn't think at this time that she needs to be treated for ADD.  He said that it may be something that shows up at a later date, or it may be that her issues are not rooted in an attention disorder.
• She does have Oppositional Defiant Disorder and displays excessive defiance at both home and school.  There seems to be some OCD as well.
• The pediatrician recommended that we get a DVD called 1-2-3 Magic, as he has seen many children like Rachel and with even more extreme defiance find success when their parents used this method.  The biggest components of the method are for parents to remain calm (and stop having their own temper tantrums in the face of very frustrating and infuriating behavior in their children) and for them to apply it consistently.  Both of those are good things for us to remember.  We're still working on it, but we're making good progress with Rachel and are being encouraged.
• The other thing that has made a difference is that I stopped letting her have red dye 40.  I did some reading up on it and saw that it can cause children with ADD/ADHD to have aggravated symptoms, and even in those who do not have ADD/ADHD, some have a sensitivity to red dye 40 that can cause them to mirror those symptoms.  She still has mood swings and temper tantrums, and I'm sure she will always have a defiant streak, but the pendulum does not swing as far nor as often now as it was when I wasn't monitoring her intake of the dye.  It's amazing how much difference something like that can make, and that it even has the power to bring out that sort of behavior.

It can be so difficult sometimes when we're faced with her bullheadedness and, at times, downright nastiness.  But we know that she's a very bright girl who loves us, dotes on her brother and is so patient with him.  She has a silly, fun sense of humor and so much creativity and imagination.  She's empathetic toward others and does thoughtful things for other kids at school.  We know that her strong-willed streak will enable her to stand up to peer pressure when she's older, and march to the beat of her own drummer.  She is growing up to be a remarkable person.

She may be a lot of work, but she's worth it!

**Please note that I'm not looking for advice, just sharing and sometimes venting.