Just got back from probably the best therapy session I've ever attended with Ben! I've been frustrated with his lack of progression with language, but today after therapy I realized that we've already come a long way compared to when we started in November, and even more from when we first went to Birth to Three's play group therapy last March.
When we first started at Birth to Three, Ben would flit from one activity to another, never staying longer than a minute or so at any one thing. He rarely played with things functionally but would get frustrated when someone tried to do hand-over-hand with him to help him "complete" a toy or puzzle or to use a toy functionally. We would be there for an hour and a half, and by the time it was over, he was totally fried. He didn't sit very long during the snack period, and usually only because of my presence right behind him, and when we got to circle time at the end, it was really difficult for him to just sit for the 10 minutes of songs and rhymes. He'd fight against it and fuss, and a few times, we just had to leave.
When we started speech therapy in November, Ben again didn't want to stay with one task or toy for very long. When we forced the issue and I would work with him to help him do something, he would get really frustrated and sometimes lash out physically, headbutting or hitting to show his anger. He stopped frequently to ask for juice or a snack, and I would give them to him to appease him.
James took Ben a few times for therapy in the past few months, and he didn't take the diaper bag in with him, and therefore didn't have juice and snacks in the room. And you know what? Ben didn't ask for them. So I stopped taking in his bag, too. Ben asked the first couple of times I did that, and I would just tell him "Later. They're in the car." Sometimes he got upset, sometimes he didn't, but his requests tapered off.
Today, he didn't ask once for juice or a snack. He spent the 40-odd minutes of therapy on only four tasks: playing with a toy where you can attach pieces and push a button to play music and make some circles spin; stacking cardboard blocks; listening to (and doing hand-over-hand motions with) music on a CD player, and blowing up balloons with a pump - the therapist did that and Ben would take the balloons and hold them as the air was let out. He loved that! He was so happy throughout the therapy time, never getting frustrated once, and he showed really good attention to the tasks we were doing and to us. And it felt good.
I realized that I'm waiting for the big moments in language to happen, but I'm forgetting that we've already seen so much progress in his ability to handle frustration with tasks, and in his attention during structured times like therapy. He's less open to that kind of structured play at home, but with more exposure to it here, that may become more fun for him, too. In the toddler nursery at church, they're telling me that he's doing a great job sitting for nearly the whole snack time, and now he rarely steals other kids' Goldfish crackers ;) He's starting to ask for "more" on a more regular basis when he wants something. He's humming along with some of the songs at school during music time and will "sing" things at home ("doo doo dooooo, doo doo doooo"), which is so sweet to hear.
So while I was keeping an eye on the long haul and feeling frustrated, I was forgetting the bigger picture, forgetting to recognize that we've already seen so much progress with his playing skills. It may sound funny to think of someone needing to develop playing skills, but many autistic children don't naturally come by them. Imaginative play is hard for them, since functional play isn't something that they have as a general rule, so it has to be learned in steps. And Ben has also becoming a very happy little boy most of the time. The giant meltdowns are still tough, but we're grateful that he's got such a sweet, loving spirit and that we get so much affection from him!
Just wanted to share a win that I'm celebrating today!
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