It's a little more challenging with Ben than it was with Rachel. She was more self-sufficient at an early age in terms of feeding herself and even in how much she was able to talk with us. Ben, although nearing 4 years old, is delayed in most developmental areas and still does not have a lot of language, due to being on the autism spectrum. He also can get overwhelmed quickly by loud noise, like outbursts of laughter or lots of people talking at the same time. He gets tired out from school or from staying awake late in his bed and then not getting enough sleep. Sometimes he just plain doesn't feel good, but he doesn't have the words to tell us that.
Today I picked Ben up from preschool, and he seemed just fine. He walked all the way to the car with me, instead of asking me to pick him up and carry him there, which is something we've had to work on and an area where we do not always have success. He fussed when I was buckling him into his car seat, but once he had a couple of small toys and his sippy cup, he was fine for the drive.
We arrived there and James met us at the car, and we started to unload the stuff we needed for lunch. When it was time for James to get Ben out of his seat, however, he got really upset and started to flail around like he was trying to throw himself out of James' arms. He calmed down and walked with James to the building. We signed in and went to the cafeteria, and while we were getting Ben's booster seat set up and the food out, it hit the fan. Total meltdown. Sometimes when that happens, we're able to find a food he wants and he'll calm down enough to start eating it, then he's fine.
Today was not one of those days. We tried for maybe 2 minutes to see if we could get him to calm down and eat something. Then I got him out of his chair and walked with him for a minute, talking to him. He was calmer, but he just was not at all interested in sitting down and having lunch. Finally, we buckled him into his stroller and I fled the room while James cleaned up our things. If it had been a little bit warmer at lunchtime, I would have suggested trying again outside, since no one else was out there and since he might be calmer with interesting things to look at and a quieter environment. I thought it was a little chilly for that, though, and he just seemed done. So we went back to the car, James got the things for his lunch, and Ben and I headed back home.
It's really disappointing when that happens. I think we've had to abandon lunch 2 or 3 times before this. I'm glad that he's able to handle it most weeks, but I think that sometimes he's just out of gas at this point in his week, after 4 mornings of preschool. And then sometimes it's simply not a good day for him, period.
It's at times like this when I so wished he could communicate with us more and tell us what's upsetting him. It's difficult to try to figure out if there's anything you can do to improve the situation when your child can't help guide you.
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