So. Yeah.

The past few days have been odd. It's strange to plunge into a world where your child may have as-yet-undetermined special needs. We've suspected issues with Rachel for a long time, but it's only been recently when we realized something was going on with Ben, and then we've jumped right into the therapy services that we're being offered.

My sister-in-law recommended another pediatrics office to me as a potential resource for an evaluation for Ben. I contacted them and found out that they don't do as extensive an evaluation as what Ben requires, due to his delays being in every area. But they do deal with children with ADD/ADHD, so I brought up my concerns about Rachel. They sent me a packet to complete and, once I've mailed it in, they should contact me within 3 days to schedule the intake appointments for the evaluation process for her.

Although I'm disappointed that they won't be able to evaluate Ben, it's a relief to be getting something started for Rachel. It's been difficult to manage her behavior even without everything that's gone on lately with Ben, but to try to manage both situations without professional intervention, and to keep slogging on with her in a situation that really isn't getting significantly better? That would eventually drive me to a nervous breakdown, I think.

I'm already tired of the emotional ups and downs, but I'm sure those are something that will come more into balance as I wrap my brain around what's happening and learn to live with it.

Ben's playgroup teacher came on Friday afternoon for her first at-home visit with Ben, which was more of a conversation between her and me about what the goals should be for working with him in the next few months and beyond. During that time, she brought up her concern that she believes he has autism. She isn't qualified to formally diagnose him, but she's an autism specialist with much experience. She mentioned specific reasons why she believes he may be autistic and said that she wants to see how things unfold over the next 2 to 3 weeks to see if her suspicions are correct.

Something tells me that she doesn't make that judgment lightly. She said that the physicians are Mary Bridge will be able to determine one way or the other if he is autistic and, if so, to what severity. It's hard to know how that might impact us. Giving it a name doesn't change the day-to-day challenges we've been having or change his personality, and if he is autistic, he'll qualify for additional services once he's started preschool with the public school system, which he'll do in September either way due to the delays.

I'm not that upset at hearing he may be autistic, which is odd.  I'll probably cry about it at some point, but for now, I appreciate that she's keeping us informed.  She said that she likes to tell parents what she's thinking so that they understand why she's asking particular questions and just know what's going on with their child.

I need life to get back to normal, although it's going to be a new normal.  I'd like to start getting back to a regular cleaning schedule and then find time to tackle more of the decluttering, sorting of items, cleaning out the overload of toys in Rachel's room and other chores like that.  Plus I've been collecting coupons that need to be cut out and put into my binder so that I'm actually using them and don't let that fall to the wayside.  Wasted money, people!

It seems like I can't get enough sleep to feel rested right now, but I'm sure that will change over time as we adjust.  It's a little tough currently, but I think we've been through a lot of the roughest parts already.