You Better T.H.I.N.K.

Tonight I was reminded of a sermon I heard 5 years ago, right after we moved to Washington.  It was at a church that we visited the first couple of weeks here.  It never clicked for me, although James really liked the preaching and service style and visited there on his own a few times when I was under the weather.

One of the sermons I heard there has stuck with me all this time.  In it, the pastor used an acronym to describe how to decide if we should say something.  And that acronym was T.H.I.N.K.

• Truthful - is what you have to say truthful?  That should be pretty straightforward.  But if you're not sure that what you're about to say is truthful, perhaps it's best to leave it unsaid.
• Helpful - is your comment or question going to be helpful to the person to whom you are going to say, or might it hinder them in some way or be unhelpful?
• Inspirational - will it bring inspiration to them in some form?
• Necessary - is it something that needs to be said, or might it be wise to keep the comment to yourself? Will it cause more harm than good in saying it?
• Kind - are your motives kind in saying it?

This isn't to say that you can never say something to a person that might hurt them; confronting an addict about their problem or a fellow follower of Jesus who's in obvious sin about their need for repentance is something that is a painful process but often necessary in order to truly help that person.  But there are many times when we open our mouths and insert our feet, or say something that is insulting or hurtful to someone, with no thought towards a beneficial end goal or without considering "Is there a better way to say this?  Am I correct in my assumptions or judgments about the situation?"

I admit that I need to live by this acronym more than I do currently, but there have been a few times when I've been stopped short in saying or writing something with the realization that it was not necessary or kind, or that it wouldn't be helpful for me to bring up ___________ to someone that was not ready to hear it.  There have also been times when I've been deeply wounded by words, sometimes said on purpose and sometimes said thoughtlessly.

So take a word of advice from Aretha, and T.H.I.N.K.