What I Learned This Weekend

I had the chance to attend a simulcast of a Beth Moore conference this weekend. Beth is a phenomenal speaker who has a heart to teach women about Biblical truths. She has a way of connecting with women that is so unique and heartfelt, and I learn so much from her in the Bible studies we've done at church. I went to a live event of hers in Redmond, WA a few years ago, and it was incredible, so I was excited that our church was one of the locations for the simulcast. A little over 90,000 women in 516 locations were a part - awesome!

Beth spoke on the desires of your heart. These were the parts of her message that stood out to me the most:

1. We're so fixated on what we want that we don't do what it takes to get it. Sometimes we ask God for something, and we just keep begging Him for it, when it's something that may be in our grasp. We may already be able to attain it, or we may need to change something about ourselves or our lives to get it, but if all we do is sit around and beg for it without being willing to take action, we can cripple ourselves and prevent ourselves from experiencing fuller joy and our heart's delight.
2. If you've sought something for an extended period of time and you still don't have it, something is up. It may that what we desire will impact our destiny or will stand in the way of God's glory.
3. Delighting in God turns our desires into inevitabilities. Any time you want what is in the will of God for you, you will have it. One thing Beth urged us to do was to pray this daily: "God, grant me a heart to delight in You." If you make yourself available to delight, you will receive it. I do long to delight more in the Lord and to be more open with how I worship Him and how I share Him with others. This is a prayer that I'm now praying, and I'm excited to see Him bring it about in my life. She also encouraged us to pray for a supernatural love for God and His word, another prayer that I look forward to God answering.
   
4. I'm forgiven by a God whose mercy is given with delight. Isn't that an incredible thought? God doesn't forgive grudgingly, as we can sometimes do with others when we aren't ready to forgive quite yet or still feel wounded by their actions. It truly delights Him to lavish His mercy on us and to grant us forgiveness.
5. Nothing external can steal our right to delight. There are 3 things that can deform our delight if we hold onto them and let them fester:

• Jealousy - desire tinged with resentment, whether it's of those who do wrong, or those who do well;
• Anger - anger is the polar opposite of delight, constricting us while delight will free us;
• Worry - our efforts to affect something as if by gnawing on it or biting into it. We need to make sure we're not allowing these 3 attitudes to reside within us, or they will steal our delight.

She also urged us to go out and do good. It doesn't matter if we're right if we don't do any good. It's just being right. Who can you help? What good can you do? We're to dwell in the land God has given us, and truly be a part of it, not just sit above it and feel morally upright.

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The other major revelation that I had this weekend had to do with Rachel. She has for some time had a very strong will and a volatile temper. Her attitude can turn on a dime if she doesn't get what she wants or has to stop doing something she's enjoying, or for any number of reasons. It's been inexplicable to us. It's true that I have a temper myself, but Rachel started displaying hers long before she saw examples of that from me. She is truly extreme, and it can be frustating and upsetting to deal with it on a regular basis. There have been plenty of times when I've asked God why on earth I was given a child who can be so difficult to parent.

It hit me this weekend that at least part of the reason why we have Rachel is because God still has a lot of work to do in me. Patience and self-control have been two fruits of the Spirit that I've lacked in great quantities. They're also things that I've wanted to have more of for a long time. I truly believe that God is using Rachel to put me through a Refiner's fire and burn away those parts of me that can be so ugly. I feel like I've already learned so much about controlling my own attitude and outward reactions, and clearly I'm practicing patience in experiencing the same issues with her repeatedly and going to the Lord about them in prayer. I think I'm also learning about not letting someone steal my delight. I can't control how Rachel chooses to react, but I can control how I choose to let it affect me. I can keep praying for her heart to be shaped by God, and I can model the behavior that I want to see from her.