Frustration

Almost didn't make it in time today.  It's nearing midnight and I'm scrambling to type so I can post and not already fail at blogging every day, 4 days into the month, because that would be sad.

It's just been one of those days.  Ben was in a pretty good mood this morning and ate well at breakfast, so we headed to Target after dropping off Rachel at school.  (She did mostly decent with getting ready, but it got a little bumpy for a few minutes.)  Got our shopping done at Target with minimal fuss and lots of belly-tickling (his belly, not mine), then we headed home to hang out for a bit.  I turned on WordWorld and Clifford the Big Red Dog for him while I got a late breakfast, then gathered things for going to lunch with James.  Each week, we take lunch to him at his workplace.  Rachel comes, too, when she's not in school.

Normally Ben is completely uninterested in TV, but it provided enough entertainment that I wasn't being inundated with "Snacks! Crackers! Goldfish!" every 2 minutes while I was getting lunch ready, and that was helpful.  Is it wrong to wish your child was more interested in television?  But I digress - he did well, then we went to lunch and had a nice time there with James having lunch in the cafeteria, then going for a walk to the lake that's on the property.

Home for nap time, but a nap didn't happen.  As is often the case, he decided he'd rather jump and shriek like a monkey instead of laying down and sleeping.  Crazy kid - I'd totally nap if I had the chance more often.  I was able to get in some time on the exercise bike while he amused himself in his crib, then we went and picked up Rachel from school.

And it all went downhill from there.  We're having some real challenges with Rachel's attitude and anger again, something we thought was largely behind us, at least until teenage hormones set in.  Instead, her temper is flaring up now that she's back in school, rather than settling down like it usually does when she's back to a scheduled day and activities that allow her to get out of the house, socialize and expend some energy.

When she acts up like that, Ben gets agitated and starts to act aggressively, too, so at one point both kids were in their rooms and I called James to let off some steam and tell him what had happened so that he'd know what to expect when he got home.  It's so frustrating - we have to keep teaching the same lessons over and over, and just when we think we've made some great headway, she pulls a day like today that makes us (or, at least, me) feel like we're back at square one again.

I have no doubts that we'll win the parenting battle and that Rachel will grow up to be a strong, confident young woman with a heart for God and the ability to control her temper and make right decisions.  But sometimes the road ahead looks long.  I'm thankful for the past three days when we really did see some strides forward in her behavior and choices, and that helps me to be hopeful for more of that.  Feeling a little battle-scarred tonight, though.