January Blog A Day: #12 Recovery

I'm not really sure what to say about the topic of Recovery.  I think that's because what springs to mind is people who are recovering addicts, or those who are coming back from serious illnesses and injuries.

Although come to think of it, it seems like much of the past two years of our lives has been spent recovering from various things, only to have other things come along.  Even before that, going through some stuff with Rachel and with a family member with whom we were having difficulties, we'd get through it and then have to take some time to recuperate.  It's like our lives have been a regular cycle of trials and recovering, then having a time of the new normal, followed by the start of a new trial or blow of some kind.

I guess recovery for me is knowing that, no matter how hard the thing is that I am going through at the time, I will get through it and things will be better.  They may get bad again for some other reason, or either for the same one, but it's rare in most people's lives for things to just be awful and never get better.  At least, that's the case for most of the people that I know, to the extent that I know what is going on.

Back in college, I went through a bout of what I now am pretty sure was clinical depression.  It was months and months of feeling horrible, like I was never going to feel joy or happiness again, like my life was never going to get better.  It's really hard to snap out of that on your own, and I didn't recognize what was going on at the time so that I could get the help that would have gotten me back to good emotional and mental health so much sooner.  I didn't think I had the ability to recover, but my faith as a Christian kept me from ending it all.  There were plenty of times where I thought "I wouldn't mind if I just didn't wake up tomorrow," but I wouldn't have done anything to cause that to happen.

I'm really thankful that I came through it and didn't die as a 20-year-old, before I'd gotten to experience so many of the joys that have come into my life post-college.  Sometimes it can be so hard to see the big picture and to believe that good things are in store.  I'm glad that I have been able to experience that.  And I know that, whatever comes my way, God will give me the strength to get through it and He will bring me joy.